F1 Talk

Gentlemen.. Start your engine..

Will Kimi Raikkonen’s Ferrari require an engine change prior to the race, thus consigning the world championship leader to a 10-place grid penalty on Sunday afternoon?

That is one of the key questions doing the rounds in the paddock following a small water leak which afflicted his F2007 in the closing stages of its winning debut in Australia in March. Last night the Finn’s manager, David Robertson, conceded that it was “More than likely,” but a final decision has yet to be taken.

Since the Malaysian Grand Prix is always such a hot race, however, it might be a major risk to retain an engine which is slightly suspect, and Ferrari may feel that caution is the better option, even if it does put Raikkonen into the dangerous midfield ground on the rush to the notoriously tight first and second corners.

It was anything but for the men in the sauna-like cockpits, of course, but the first practice session for the Malaysian Grand Prix got off to an otherwise leisurely start in Sepang this morning.

With a track temperature that varied between 41 and 48 degrees Celsius, and an ambient of 33, Ferrari’s Felipe Massa set the immediate pace with a lap of 1m 34.972s from McLaren’s Fernando Alonso (1m 35.767s), followed by respective team mates Kimi Raikkonen (1m 35.779s) and Lewis Hamilton (1m 36.548s). They did their times, then they went back to the garages.

Raikkonen, incidentally, will almost certainly get an engine change tomorrow morning, following the water leak his V8 developed in Melbourne. But of all the tracks on the calendar, this is one on which a 10-place grid penalty may be less serious.There were few incidents in the session; Alonso had two offs, however, the first in Turn 9, the second in Turn 4. No damage was sustained in either.With five minutes to go, the main runners apart from Massa were all out again.

Nobody beat the Brazilian’s time, but Alonso and Hamilton each improved, to 1m 25.220s and 1m 35.712s, leaving them now second and third respectively ahead of Raikkonen, who didn’t go quicker.Nico Rosberg vaulted up to fifth for Williams on 1m 36.308s, ahead of Red Bull’s Mark Webber on 1m 36.522s, Toyota’s Jarno Trulli on 1m 36.597s, and the continuingly impressive Kazuki Nakajima, who lapped his Williams in 1m 36.88s despite one off in Turn 15.

That edged out Ralf Schumacher’s 1m 37.052s for Toyota and Robert Kubica’s 1m 37.121s for BMW Sauber, while David Coulthard (whose Red Bull received an unpenalised engine change after the Melbourne race) improved right at the end from last place to 11th with 1m 37.484s. Sebastian Vettel took his BMW Sauber round in 1m 37.837s, narrowly beating Tonio Liuzzi’s 1m 37.882s for Toro Rosso.Neither Renault driver showed their hand; Heikki Kovalainen did 1m 38.143s, Giancarlo Fisichella 1m 38.300s for 14th and 15th respectively

While the two Ferraris dominated the times in this afternoon’s second practice session at Sepang, the Toyota-powered Williams FW29s continued to show impressive pace and stability ahead of Sunday’s Malaysian Grand Prix.

The Grove team’s cars looked very solid around the Kuala Lumpur circuit, as Nico Rosberg and Alex Wurz sat in third and fourth places for a long time, and they were only displaced by late runs from the Renault duo.

The track temperature was again blistering, spiking at times as high as 54 degrees Celsius, which was up six from the hottest point this morning. That slowed the times, and caused several teams to struggle for grip as they continued testing Bridgestone’s hard and soft compound options.With 13 minutes to go the session was red flagged when Christijan Albers’ right rear Bridgestone threw its tread down the main straight on the approach to Turn One, for reasons as yet unknown.

The Dutchman pulled his Spyker off to the side of the track, and the session was interrupted as the debris was cleaned up. His best lap to that stage, 1m 39.807s, thus remained last in the 22-car line-up.

Felipe Massa’s best lap of 1m 35.780s held up for the session’s quickest for Ferrari, but right at the end Renault’s Giancarlo Fisichella and Heikki Kovalainen made the most of similar soft rubber to jump ahead of Kimi Raikkonen’s F2007, their respective laps of 1m 35.910s and 1m 36.106s giving them second and third ahead off the Finn’s 1m 36.160s.

Rosberg’s 1m 36.523s held up for fifth, as did Wurz’s 1m 36.621s for sixth, then came Robert Kubica (1m 36.717s) for BMW Sauber, Toyota’s Ralf Schumacher (1m 36.760s), McLaren’s Lewis Hamilton (1m 36.797s), Nick Heidfeld (1m 36.862s) - the German back in the BMW Sauber after surrendering his F1.07 to tester Sebastian Vettel this morning - and Red Bull’s Mark Webber (1m 36.906s).

The majority of quick times came on the softer tyres.Webber had an adventurous afternoon, running wide on to the dirt in Turn 8 early on, then stopping with a mechanical problem on his RB3 in the closing stages.

World champion Fernando Alonso was only 12th in the McLaren on 1m 37.041s, ahead of Red Bull’s David Coulthard (1m 37.203s), Super Aguri’s Takuma Sato (1m 37.282s), Honda’s Jenson Button (1m 37.578s), Toyota’s Jarno Trulli (1m 37.712s) and Toro Rosso’s Tonio Liuzzi (1m 37.855s).

This is what the drivers had to say at the end of today : Felipe Massa, Ferrari (1st, 1m 34.972s):"All things considered, we can say this has been a good day. We tried both types of tyre available to us and also tried various set-up changes on the F2007, starting off from the basis of what we learnt in the test last week at this track. Obviously, there is still a lot to do with qualifying and the race in mind, but the weekend has got off to a positive start. I hope we can continue in that way!" Fernando Alonso, McLaren (2nd, 1m 35.220s):"The team tested here last week when most of the set-up was done so we had a good basis for today’s practice. There is now some more data added to the file which we will look at overnight, but everything went as expected. I spent some time just getting used to Sepang again as I wasn’t testing last week, but there were no surprises, and I really enjoy this track.”

Jarno Trulli, Toyota (9th, 1m 36.597s):“Since the beginning of the day I’ve been struggling so we will have to look into that tonight. The track was short of grip early on and I found myself sliding with all four wheels. The car has been inconsistent and it has not responded to the set-up changes we’ve made. And while the track improved I actually got worse with the same set-up. So something strange is happening and now we need to investigate why. Still, I like this track and I have always performed pretty well here. The weather is changeable and our forecasts say we may yet see some thunderstorms during the weekend.”

Ralf Schumacher, Toyota (12th, 1m 36.760s):“That was a reasonable day and good preparation for the rest of the weekend. It’s obviously hot here and the conditions push the drivers to the limit. But I like the heat and last week’s testing was a good preparation for the weekend. Despite so many cars running here, the circuit was still very low on grip today. Still, we made it through our programme of work with no problems. We are comfortable with the track and the tyres were also working well. It’s difficult to judge true performance after the first race but our goal is to get two cars into the top ten again and hopefully to take more points.”

Takuma Sato, Super Aguri (16th, 1m 37.282s):“I think it was a difficult day. Having completed a good test last week, we came back here with a positive attitude, but this morning we really struggled. Looking at the others, I thought that the track conditions weren't too bad, but we just could not get a good grip. In the afternoon we tried a slightly different approach and the car seemed to work better than in the morning, which I was happy with, but still I think we have to work a lot for tomorrow's session.” Jenson Button, Honda (17th, 1m 37.578s):"Well, a tough day really trying to find a balance. Initially the circuit was very dusty but as the track improved through the day we were able to work on the car more. The fact remains however that we are still a long way from where we want to be."

Lewis Hamilton, McLaren (3rd, 1m 35.712s):"This is my first Malaysian Grand Prix, but I got to know the circuit well during last week’s test. The heat and humidity are as I expected and have trained for. The practice today was pretty straight forward, and we made further steps. The circuit conditions are constantly changing which makes it challenging to find the right balance. I’m looking forward to qualifying tomorrow.”

Nick Heidfeld, BMW Sauber (13th, 1m 36.862s):"I am not happy with my car yet. Especially at the beginning of the session the balance was not good at all, and the car was difficult to drive. Although later we made a step in the right direction, there is still a lot of work to do."

After the practice session was when the real party begins..

It's party time!!!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Remember Me . .

Zangy Comment Graphics

Why I Don't Date Lawyers

I, [print your name here] (hereby referred to as “The Lady”), being of sound mind, have entered into a relationship with [print guy’s name here] (hereby referred to as “The Man”).

By signing below, I hereby agree to abide by all the rules as set out within this contract in perpetuity.

Clause 1: Dates

A. The Lady will eat more than a side salad.

B. The Man will not be expected to plan every date. He will be chivalrous, but he will not be the cruise director of the relationship.

C. If The Lady would like to attend an event that she knows The Man will despise, she is advised to do so with other people (See Clause 5: Extra-Curricular Activities). However, should she deem a night at the ballet, opera, or foreign movie house to be a necessity within the scope of the relationship, she should make plans (transportation, tickets, etc.) for this evening herself.

1. By accepting this Lady-partisan date, The Man will be guaranteed one (1) date on which both parties participate in an activity of his choice—including, but not limited to: Attending an athletic event, watching a martial-arts movie, or going out for a large BBQ dinner.

Clause 2: Dialogue

A. The Lady will never discuss an ex-boyfriend.

1. Rule 2-a above may be broken if The Lady mentions a deep and abiding flaw in the ex-boyfriend, while also discussing ways in which The Man betters said ex.

B. If The Lady wants something or wants to know something, she will ask. There will be no hints or guessing games.

C. Any cute nicknames that The Lady has devised for The Man will never be spoken in public. See Clause 6, Section a, Subsection 3 for explanation.

1. Furthermore, The Lady may not devise any nickname that includes a diminutive or that is spoken in baby-voice (e.g., “Little John” or “Snuggle Bear”).

Clause 3: The Bedroom

A. During moments of physicality, The Lady will voice her wishes so that The Man knows how best to make her enjoy the experience. This is expected not only for her sake, but for his. The Man is a prideful being. He wants to know he can do everything right.

B. The Man reserves the right to his favorite side of the bed at all times, no exceptions. He may permit The Lady to rest on his chosen side if he wishes, but should he find himself tossing and turning at 3 a.m., it his right to reclaim said side with no ill will from The Lady.

Clause 4: Family

A. The Lady will not ask The Man to meet her family until at least one month of dating has been completed.

B. Upon meeting The Man’s mother, The Lady will try to learn as many of Mother Man’s recipes as possible. And yes, The Man likes his chicken that dry.

Clause 5: Extracurricular Activities

A. The Man will be guaranteed at least one Guys’ Night per week, chosen at his discretion. He will also retain at least two extra “floating” Guys’ Nights per month in case of an important sporting event or should an impromptu post-work visit to the bar arise.

B. The Lady can never be angry with a man for attending Guy’s Night.

C. The Lady will not call The Man more than once per Guys’ Night.

D. The Lady is encouraged to go out with her own friends as a means for keeping her independence and sense of self. However, there are ground rules for these engagements:

1. She will not ask The Man to attend any event on the day of a televised athletic match, any event that involves the phrase “pot luck,” or any event that celebrates the birth of a child, impending or otherwise.

2. She will not expect The Man to attend a gathering solely because the boyfriend/husband of The Lady’s Friend will also be in attendance. Misery does not make good company.

3. No. Ex-Boyfriends. Ever.

Clause 6: Love

A. Should the two parties remain together long enough to reach Relationship Level: Serious, The Man understands that he will, at some point, be called upon to vocally express his appreciation of The Lady in the strongest method possible. When the time comes, the following rules shall govern the use of Those Three Words Which Shall Not Yet Be Spoken.

1. The Lady will be the first party to speak the phrase. She will do so clearly and while making eye contact so that The Man knows it is he who is being spoken to. The Lady will allow the man at least five (5) minutes to respond in kind. This reprieve does not mean he doesn’t feel the same way, only that he is apt to be flustered, frightened, and suddenly stricken with cotton-mouth.

2. After the first time the Man arranges the words “I,” “you,” and “love” into a sentence, he will not be required to do so in response every time The Lady speaks the phrase. The Lady will also accept “Me, too,” “Ditto,” or a high-five in return.

3. The Lady will never speak the three-worded phrase when The Man is in the presence of either friends or coworkers. This is done out of respect for the mockery that is sure to result should he be forced to reciprocate while with said company. By signing below, you agree to all rules as laid out in this contract, effectively guaranteeing that you will make The Man a truly happy person for the rest of his life, or until you realize that he is a loser who requires his girlfriends to sign legally binding documents

______________________________

Name :

______________________________

Signature :

______________________________

Date :