Ugly Duckling

i wonder if i can still hope to marry someone I really, really love.

He told me that I'm fat and need to lose alot of weight, ask me to go shopping and get new clothes for myself (with him) and grow up.. fast.

Blame it on the endless Chinese New Year feasting over the past week.

I have already put on an extra 5kg two months ago after i injured my ankle and spent time resting at home.

I put on an extra 2kg during the festive CNY week.

Now, I have to lose all these extra fats and start slimming down.

I cant run because my ankle still hurts.

All I can do is watch my food intake and go to the gym.

Sex doesn't count cos' a dick goes limp at the sight of my naked body.

I have taken enough slimming pills, slimming jamus (yuckks) and slimming milkshakes to intoxicate my liver and kidneys. I'm not surprised if I end up in the hospital with ailing kidneys by end of this year.

Now comes the toughest part.

Growing into a woman.

How does one change from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan in less than a year?

What makes a woman, a woman? Sigh.. "Baby, I see you as a girl growing into a woman. A beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, intelligent, demure, wealthy, successful, compassionate Muslim woman. But you need to listen to me and lose all that fat first. You're fat you know that? If you want me to marry you, then you have to be sexy and gorgeous so I won't stray. You are very beautiful, you know that? You just have to work on your body. How am I suppose to groom you if you don't listen to me?" Arrrrggghhh...!!! Stress, stress.. I can't look as gorgeous as Kate Beckingsale, Catherine Zeta-Jones or Scarlett Johansson. But, accept me as I am please. I'll try my best to look good and all. But.. Liposuction anyone? No way! So, you won't marry me cos I'm fat? Ok. I have my own collection of gorgeous hunks you know... And yes,together, they give me so much pleasure in bed... :P Who needs marriage when you get attention from all these studs all year round? Wait till you see me in 3 months.. I would turn from this..

to this...

... in three months.

So, will you marry me then? Haha.. And maybe after our long, around-the-world honeymoon, we may even look like this :

Ain't that romantic?

Have a great weekend everyone!